For the One I Love
by SlightlyAngelic
Summary: Hak's pain/conflicted feelings regarding Yona, Soo-won, and the hairpin.


**A/N: Short Angst. I guess I was in that type of mood. Hak needs more sunshine in his life. Anyway, thanks for reading. Feel free to leave thoughts/comments/criticisms/etc. I might add another chapter pertaining to Yona's feelings later on, depending.**

 **Small warning: a couple usage of words. Nothing too serious, of course.**

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Properly hidden from view behind a couple of large trees, Hak secretly watched with tension as Yona swung her right arm over her head and attempted to fling Soo-won's hairpin into the lake. It wasn't the first time she'd tried doing such a thing but she had never been successful. Always, she would pause and her arm would slowly drop back down to her side with the elaborate hairpin still safe and secure within her palm. Today was no different. Yona stared at the memento in her hand, both arms then clutching the object to her heart in frustration. The tears started.

Hak turned his back on the scene, leaning heavily against the nearest tree. _Soo-won_. That bastard was hurting her. He had taken her heart and dreams, crushed them beneath his feet. He didn't deserve her love. _Yet_ …she loved him still, loved him even after everything that had happened. Hak had accidently stumbled upon Yona's conversation with Ik-Soo a while back: _There are sentiments…that can't be thrown away._ In truth, even before then, he had known. She continued to love Soo-won even after he'd chosen his personal goals over her life, killed her father, and... _even after Hak himself had been hurt._

The wound Soo-won had created in him was open, raw, and constantly festering. It was beyond repairable, the gash simply too vast and deep. No amount of time could lend a healing hand, not even enough to allow for an ugly scar. The pain was fresh on Hak's mind, as if it had been inflicted just yesterday. _Damn it all, he wanted to kill the bastard_. How ironic. At one point, he had wanted to lay down his own life for the man. He had wanted to hand over his most precious treasure, entrusting her safety _completely_ to him. While he had been willing to make so many self-sacrifices, Soo-won had been plotting behind his back. The traitor had taken advantage of him, and Hak was partially to blame because he had allowed it to happen. If he'd relied on his instincts that night like he should have and not on this foolish _trust,_ he would have realized the situation sooner. He might have been able to prevent all of this. He was incompetent, a failure. The trust had been broken, utterly destroyed. There was no going back.

Soo-won hurting him was one thing but seeing this from Yona, it hurt _._ It hurt deeply, but Hak didn't know what hurt more: that his heart had been shattered by what Yona couldn't do even after everything that had happened _or_ seeing her face contorted with such pain and misery at the thought of having to let go. He couldn't bear to see her in such a state, and it was turning him into a wretched, conflicted mess. He leaned his head against the tree from emotional exhaustion.

Movement from Yona caused Hak to turn his attention back in her direction. Sniffling and wiping away tears, she suddenly drew her arm back and threw the hairpin with all her strength into the water. Hak gasped, holding his breath for a second. Then, just as he was about to exhale in relief, Yona gave a startled cry, running over to the edge of the water. The hairpin had hit the surface not too far from the shore with a loud, echoing "plop", instantly sinking. Automatically, Hak leaped out of hiding and dashed to her side, grabbing her arm before she could think to do anything reckless and unsafe.

"What do you think you're doing, princess?" Hak's voice came out sharp, terrified.

"Were...were you watching?" she asked, surprised and a little ashamed. Seeing the worried look on his face, she added, "I'm okay. Everything's fine." However, Yona was shaking and as Hak looked down into her tear-streaked face, her eyes told him everything he needed to know.

"Idiot," he said. "Stay here, and don't move."

"…Hak?"

Taking his overcoat off and tossing it onto the bank, Hak jumped into the water without answering. He prayed that the area she had tossed the hairpin into wasn't too deep or muddy. Holding his breath and struggling a bit to keep his eyes open, he swam toward the bottom and searched around for the sheen of metal. Not finding it, he resurfaced, slinging water everywhere. Yona was still standing where he'd left her, dumbstruck by what he was doing. When she caught sight of him, she called out to him but he took another deep breath, held it, and dove back down. He had seen the look of sheer panic and despair in those purple eyes…and he wasn't going to give up. Just when his lungs were beginning to ache and his body starting to tire, he caught sight of the hairpin lying solemnly on top of a mound of soft silt. Snagging it with his right hand, he swam upward, breaking the surface, completely out of breath.

Yona had dropped to her knees, looking frightened. He didn't know if it was out of fear for his safety or out of fear that she would truly lose her one remaining tie to Soo-won. In the end, Hak decided that it didn't matter. Clenching the object tightly in his hand, he slowly waded back to her. _I was never the Soo-won you knew to begin with_. Seeing the image of the man who'd betrayed them flash across his mind, Hak wanted to turn around and fling the damn object as far away as possible from the two of them. His hand flexed of its own accord. Reaching Yona, he clenched his jaw, curling his hand forcefully around the elegantly carved piece of wood with its jewel _and then_ …taking a hold of Yona's hand with his free one, gently placed it back into her grasp. As she looked up at him, Hak could see relief and gratefulness. Even if she didn't say so, they were apparent. Her eyes had lost their anguish, and Hak's own misery doubled its cruel intensity. Still, seeing her relieved gave him a strange degree of contentment. Swallowing down his own feelings, Hak forced a smile to his lips, a smile that failed to reach his eyes.

"Try to be more careful, princess," he said, simply. Not waiting to hear her response, Hak picked up his blue overcoat and walked away. Her inability to sever her tie with Soo-won was a testament to the strength of her love, a love that could never be directed at Hak. And, in turn, he would continue to keep his feelings and pain in the dark, hidden away as they'd always been...so as not to interfere. She was far too important to him. If keeping his feelings to himself would protect her happiness then, so be it. If keeping the hairpin was going to keep her content then that was just fine. He'd done the right thing. After all, her happiness was all that mattered. Enduring the hurt was nothing. Hak was too used to it _._

~FIN


End file.
